


Unity

by kiiouex



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Body Horror, Death, Multiple Voices In One Head, Self-Harm, Violence, just 'The Cluster' really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 12:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4828640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiiouex/pseuds/kiiouex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your hands twitch up and down, respond to a dozen different urges that all conflict. You need a distraction, something you can tear apart since you can't break yourself.</p>
<p>Or, Cluster PoV Body-Horror Story. The Cluster is not a happy creature.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unity

**Author's Note:**

> [telekinesiskid](http://archiveofourown.org/users/telekinesiskid) and I were kicking around cluster ideas and both wrote horrible little stories, her one is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4828652) :V Enjoy!

They have two hands; you set them aside gently to work on first, pull the fingers off one by one, slide the skin off and then start unravelling the muscles. Blood on your fingers but you always have more, clean ones to keep working with. It’s the only calm you ever have, and you line up ten red fingernails, ten strips of tendons, ten little piles of bones.

  _who are they, they’re in my head, get them out, get them out_

 There’s so much in a body but you’ll do what you need to, you’ll save them. It’s the only calm you’ve ever found, helping other people, and you strip down limbs, lay out every part neatly, try not to pop the eyes when you pull them loose but your hands are steady, all of them are steady, you’re okay when you’re busy.

  _Where’s Rose? She could save us, she could fix this, where is she?_

 There’s noise from somewhere far away but you don’t want to stop, you want to finish, you want to make sure every single part is nicely on its own. But noise turns into voices and you can’t ignore that, it might be someone else who needs help and you have to help them, maybe they’ll help you.

  _I only wanted to fuse with Topaz this is wrong, this is so wrong_

It’s a fusion, it’s a fusion and you lunge and you get your hands on them and you _rip_ tearing them apart like pulling meat off a bone. Two gems drop and you’re so glad, you did it, you saved them. But there’s no body, there’s nothing else to do, you fixed the other one already and you start to shudder.

  _How could Homeworld do this I’m one of them I’m one of them_

 You throw yourself into the walls but there’s nothing hard nothing sharp nothing you can use. Your hands are dumb and blunt and can’t pierce through your skin no matter how hard you try and you try so hard, you need to do something.  

  _so disgusting, can’t get apart, this is an abomination_

 Yanking on the gem just causes you pain, so much agony you can’t work through it, you always stop and shudder and you’re weak, weak, you must deserve this, you aren’t strong enough to save yourself.

  _Rose could save me, Rose said she’d save us all, Rose said_

 There’s nothing to break down, you can’t break yourself, everything in you is scared and shaky and in pain, you don’t know what to do. Your hands twitch up and down, respond to a dozen different urges that all conflict, you don’t have a plan, you don’t have anything. There’s another noise, some tiny creature, and you slam a hand down on it to stop it moving, get a paw four different hands and you pull.

  _this isn’t fusion this isn’t good it’s not what I wanted_

 It stopped making you feel good and you need something, a distraction, all your thoughts shiver and scream and you can’t just act on fear but you do. More noise, more voices. Gems, picking up the fusion you saved, looking at you, getting out weapons. Maybe they’ll help you if you help them.

  _I told them I didn’t want to fuse, is this my punishment?_

 You chase them and they run, and they scream and it’s not fair, it’s not fair they can’t just leave you like this you need them you need _help_ , you rip off one of your own arms and hurl it at them but they get away. They slam something shut, block off the exit and you scream and howl and everything is in unison for once, crying _get them_ before they force those gems back together again.

  _need to break apart need to separate_

 You follow every noise, and you rip off your fingers one by one, and sometimes you stop moving and lie very still and sometimes you can’t move at all, when everything in you is too disparate to give a direction.

  _She left us to die, she left us to die, she left us to be buried_

You don’t have any fingers left but you learned last time, you’ll die and they’ll come back, they’ll come back and you’ll come back and at least you’ll get one moment when everything in you is united in agony, at least you’ll get a few seconds when every part of you will feel the same and you might be whole.

_she’ll never want to fuse with me again we’ll never be Citrine_

You try to smash the gem again but all you have are bloodied palms and bones. But there’s something shifting, something in the floor you’ve never managed to get open. You should have left your fingers so you’d have something to work with but you can crush them, grind them down to dust, fine powder, as separate as they could be.

_Need to tell them I’m sorry I’ll fuse if they want, I will, just end this, end it_

It’s another like you, still with all their fingers, and you’re so happy to see them. You wish you could help them but you can’t, your poor saviour, going to be trapped down here alone. Every part of you is scared and pleased and you don’t struggle when the other wraps their hands around you.

_too close too much no space_

All your arms, ripped off at the base, and it hurts it’s agony, you want to fight and you want to let it happen and all you do is roll sideways to make it harder for them.

_Rose Rose Rose Rose Rose_

There are five hands on your gem and pulling and it h u r t s

_tell them I’m sorry_

You can’t scream. Fear is overwhelming, but the pain is unifying; all of you want it to end.

_separate_

You hope they crush it so you won’t come back. Nothing in you has ever wanted to come back. Pain is unity; the feeling of your gem coming loose and your body ripping is the ultimate release.


End file.
